Thursday, 30 September 2004

what every ipod owner needs

Knowing that there is at least one I-pod owning reader of this blog, I thought I would share with the world at large the latest state of the art accessory for the i-pod.

So without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you, the I-pod Cozy. Available in several different animals including bear, dog, mouse and most amusingly bunny rabbit and fox, .

Saturday, 25 September 2004

The ways of lvoe

Typos bend the mind in strange new directions. Take this one from Sally's blog: the ways of lvoe, which got me thinking as to what the ways of lvoe could possible be, and who lvoe might have been.

Some deep-thinking philosopher, probably sitting on a remote hilltop in a far-off land, pondering life, existance and coming up with important insights into the deeper depths of the human mind.

Things like :
the way to happiness is ...
always do this before/after that
check your boots for scorpions before putting them on
eat plenty of fruit/vegetables
and so on.

In the context of the blog, the ways deal with the path to happiness in married life. This kind of thing I guess, What women wish their partners to say more often, and the reverse. This is probably the most important though: Always make sure there is chocolate in the house.

Then it occured to me how different my line of thoughts would have gone if it had been a different typo using the same letters.

"I went to offer him the expereince of an expereinced, mature woman, wise in the ways of vole[s], in case there was anything he wanetd to know for his wedding night"

...the ways of voles would have been very strange indeed

Thursday, 23 September 2004

Now thats a strange liquid

The three most common states of matter are solid, liquid and gas. Related to this is that these properties of a chemical substance usually exist such that its melting point is below its boiling point. Take water for example. It melts at 0°C and boils at 100°C. Ok, a fairly normal chemical.
These guys("Law-breaking liquid defies the rules") have just found a mixture of chemicals that starts of as a liquid but as you heat it to between 40-70°C it solidifies, then re-liquifies as you cool it down again.

This would be like taking a cup of water and heating it in the oven and taking out a cup of ice!.
Quite amazing really.

Sunday, 19 September 2004

A Brief Glossary of Theatrical Technical Terms

Actors Persons who insist on moving and/or talking when you are trying to illuminate them
Audience Persons that occupy the lavatory and bar at inconvenient times
Band "Musicians" who turn up three hours late for the sound check and blame you
Bar Sensible place to look for engineer
Barn Doors Used to stop animals in a barn escaping
Bar Steward Anyone or anything of which you disapprove
Bleeding Adjective applicable to almost anything
Boom That made you jump
Bulb Something you plant in the garden
Channel Very expensive French perfume
Check American method of payment
Colour Magazine supplement to Sunday newspaper
Cross-fade Vanish in an annoyed manner (much used by producers)
Cue Long line of persons waiting to get to the lavatory or bar
Cyberlights Vicious metallic adversaries of Doctor Who
Dimmer Less intelligent
Director Tells you where to park your car
Engineer Person who performs the impossible, usually yesterday, and 25% under budget
Flies Something to remember after visiting the lavatory
Flown Bar Place to look for an engineer on an aeroplane
Follow Spot Chase around after the dog
Fuse M6 bolt used as "safety" device in equipment
Gaffa Tape Alternative to nuts, bolts, safety chains, hook clamps, scaff, insulation, blackwrap, etc...
Iris Flower grown from a BULB
Leko Lantern Welsh Spotlight
Light Not on time, anywhere south of Oxford
Microphone Something for singers to aim away from
Mixing Desk Place to make complicated drinks
Musical Director Welsh Clergyman who sings
PARCan Leaving your car outside the venue
Plug Persuade critic that you play is better than anybody else's
Producer ridiculous person who demands the impossible, usually yesterday, and 25% under budget
Profile Abrasive instrument used by person paid to do so
Prompter Not so late
Pyrotechnics Producers method of communication at times of stress
Rank Strand Very smelly beach

1) Replace broken M6 bolt
2) Say no to producer, usually just before being given last pay packet
3) The empty Pizza boxes and Beer cans ;left at the end of a show

Socket Hit it with your fist
Spill What happens to beer if you are careless with it
Spot Quantity or refreshment
Stage left & right Everyone else's right and left
Tabs Brown stripy cats
Teasers Ladies who remove their clothes on stage
Technical Rehearsal Chaos. Useful for producing nervous breakdown in Producer, who may then let you get on with your job in peace.
Throw The effect of musicals such as "The Sound of Music"
Trackspot Follow the dog, using a magnifying glass
Upstage The art of demonstrating how much better an actor you are than someone else
Varilight Sting of low voltage lights for Christmas Trees
Wings Paul & Linda McCartney's Band

Tuesday, 14 September 2004

You think you know someone then...

Two good friends of mine from work returned from a couple of weeks of holiday today to announce to the world that they got married whilst they were away. You think you know someone really well, and that they are dead set against marriage and then they manage to pull something like this off without anyone suspecting a thing.

Anyway, belated congratulations to Barry and Sarah on their recent wedding.

They know how to live the high life though, as demonstrated by their honeymoon location, a small 2 mile x 3 mile windswept island off the west coast of Scotland somewhere, reachable only by a submerged causeway to one island and then a rowing boat to get to their island. Now that's what I call remote.

Sunday, 12 September 2004

I'm always amazed at the near-reality levels of realism that can be acheived with computer generated images, as these two examples show. Soon it will be possible to completely artificially generate images that are indistinguishable from the real version. Some would say that we are there already. Who's to say they are wrong...

Friday, 10 September 2004

Returning home

Its been almost two weeks since Greenbelt finished, and I've finally managed to spend more than a few hours actually at my house. This means I might actually get to unpack things, pack tents away and put my feet up. Bliss.

First off I was at mum+dads, which mainly involved sleeping until lunch them watching dvd's and reading a few books. Very relaxing after the hectic days of the festival. Then I watched as my brother started doing DIY on his new house. It was very strange to see him sanding and painting the walls and ripping out the old kitchen.

I guess that we have now both completed growing up, having finally moved out of home (I left at 18, he left it another 13 years before deciding to start out into the big wide world) it is more strange for mum and dad to have the family home just to themselves. The peace and quiet will probably come as a nice change for them :)

I briefly came home on sunday but only stayed for a few hours as I had to go to a conference with work. Typically the weather was absolutely fantastic mon-thurs, just as I was forced to spend each day shuttered up in a lecture theatre with no windows. To cap it all, the conference centre bar was closed for refurbishment. Arrgh.

Today I was back in work to try and catch up with the 127 emails that had accumilated during the time I was off. Most were about things that had already happened whilst I was not there, and so were pretty much pointless at this stage. I wish there was some way that could make emails expire after the meeting/actions the contents refer too has expired, a best-before-date if you will, so that I have less to sort through. It would have saved me several hours of torment today......

Wednesday, 8 September 2004

How the blog got its name.

If you are wondering why its called the horse wrestlers tale, here is Snowy making the initial capture of said horse at Greenbelt the other day. Mind you it had been running free for quite a while and made another bid for freedom just as Liz and I arrived on the scene. As the horse darted for a gap in the barrier, I cut it off with a solid rugby tackle on the front legs. Having been fed a sugar lump or two to calm it down, the horse was escorted to the doping sheds for further investigations, before being released back into the wild.

Sunday, 5 September 2004

In the beginning

And so it begins. If I can get near a computer for the next few days otherwise its going to be quite empty until thursday